We're--I'm--moving!

It's time for something fresh. :)

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Softly drifting.

I've barely had time to update this blog...but tonight I can't help myself. October, though usually my favorite month of the year, has had its share of ups and downs (mostly emotional). On this lazy Saturday night I find myself in an upbeat sort of repose. I've been moderately productive with my schoolwork (including making some revisions to my resume), and I've enjoyed the soothing sounds of Tracy Shedd, Laura Veirs, and the excellent "Birds of a Feather" album by Tape & Minamo (strongly recommended to those of you who crave ambient music of a warm and fuzzy variety). It's been a particularly turbulent week, as I struggle to get ahead on my work while thinking to the future. I'm almost certain that I'll be moving away from home upon my graduation in May, heading off to a new city, a new job, and a new set of challenges. I'm hoping that graduate school is in the works at some point in the next few years...my ambition only continues to grow, and my hunger for knowledge keeps pointing me in the direction of a master's degree in architecture. Not without grand intimidation, of course. I loved being in an architectural firm for my summer internship...the dynamic was incredibly comforting, and the pace at which everything and everyone moved was just right. I'd love to add architectural background to my resume, but I don't necessarily need the AIA licensing, and I don't know at this point if I would practice architecture or keep on going with interior design. There are questions abound spinning in my mind, but once I talk to my professors and advisors, I can clear them up a bit and get some peace of mind.

Time for another mental checklist (really only for myself, but I love to make to-do lists...follow along if you wish):

1. Finish reading "The Will to Power"...so that I can start reading "The Pillow Book"...and some of the other books that are laying around my house.

2. Clean out my closet even more...there are still quite a few items that I could live without.

3. Get back into sketching, maybe even with markers and colored pencils. How I pine for those art class sessions...

4. Get to the library, pick a random book off of the shelf, and absorb its contents. The one upside to being at a small (to the point of mental confinement) school is the opportunity to find ways to escape the boredom and satisfy my curiosity.

5. Learn some of my mom's recipes...one of these days.

6. Clean out my desk drawers, as well as the space under my bed. Uncharacteristically catastrophic.

7. Someday, perhaps, start to blog about topics of interest...album reviews, videos, books, abstract concepts, kittens. If I can make the time, that is.

That's enough hot air from me for now. Cheers. :)

Tick.

This Sunday burned away quite slowly, unlike most in recent memory. After a refreshing walk in the rain, I decided to pull up hollAnd's "I Steal And Do Drugs", a CD/DVD set featuring 5 original music videos set to minimalist electro-pop. The video footage, often featuring slowed-down, repeated images, may not be enough to satisfy a music "lover" in search of the instantaneous! glossied-up, Pitchfork-hyped "indie" act, and may as a result come off as pretentious and overstated. However, there is something to be said for the way the images drag across the screen...it stirs up an interest in the minute, calling to mind the "butterfly effect" and the power contained within. If you keep rushing through the day-to-day, letting weeks, months, years slip by unnoticed, you could be missing out on wonderful things. Random acts of kindness committed by fellow residents. The flight of a solitary bird twirling its way through a concrete-and-steel forest. Telling glances from passers-by. Even the way the clouds float and curl above you. If you can afford to take things even a little bit more slowly, go for it. Patience, regrettably, is a lost virtue...if you can restore it within yourself, you will reward yourself and all around you a hundredfold.

On that note, take the time--only a few minutes, even--to be thankful for all that is going right in your life and in the lives of the ones you love. Moreso, be thankful for what has gone wrong, for without it, you wouldn't have been able to scale new heights. There have been many opportunities that have truly changed my life this summer, and many people that I have met for whom I have become all the better a daughter, sister, friend, worker, lover, student, and citizen. I have and will continue to cherish every one...

Air 1120.

It has been a ridiculously loaded summer thus far, starting with the ten glorious days I spent in Japan, and continuing on through my internship at a local architecture firm...which was interrupted by a 4-day stint in jury duty this past week. I had figured that I would be able to get out of it, but New York has instituted a revised process, wherein there are virtually no exemptions from service. I was assigned to a trial rather quickly, and seeing the number of potential jurors, I felt fairly confident that I would miss selection and be able to complete my service on that day. No luck there. It wasn't all too gruesome a case, but it definitely made me reflect on my own issues and my perspective on the world around me...it's safe to say that I broke down a few barriers that had existed solely because of my relatively sheltered life and upbringing. From now on, I will continue to take care in airing my grievances and complaints...as I see it, there's always someone who has it worse than I do, and though regrettable, it's the truth.

After four long days, the trial had finally come to a close, and I was feeling a bit burnt out after all of the deliberation and stress. Friday morning, though, I woke up feeling anxious in the best way possible. I was going to Buffalo to pick up a special guest...another one of my dreams fulfilled. It was a weekend all too brief, but I treasured every moment. I was throttled by unfamiliar feelings, but at the same time, it all felt right at home...completely comfortable. Now it rests on my shoulders...at the soonest opportunity, I'll return the favor by visiting him, getting to see a city I've been wanting to explore at greater length for some time now, but more importantly, to enjoy the company of my dreams.

Free.

I can't believe I did it...I actually was in Japan for a week and a half. There were times where it honestly felt like a dream...there was a surreal, lucid quality to the way the fog wrapped around the lush green mountains and rose from the sea. It truly was a feast for the senses, and the experience was a cleansing one, providing me with the clarity I particularly need at this point in my life. There's so much that I already miss: the rush of men clad in business suits through the streets and train stations (they are the modern equivalent of samurai, in many ways), the twinkling music that filled the train cars, the excellent food, the glow of the city lights in the nighttime, the clear, cool streams, the clean smell of the rainfall, being surrounded by curious schoolchildren, getting to use my broken Japanese with the natives, the incredible street fashion, the way time seemed to stand still...I could go on. So many stories to tell and photos to share, but the memories will ring in my mind and my heart forever. This is only the beginning...I fully intend to return someday, hopefully with someone that can enjoy the experience with me.

Punchlist.

5 days until I can book it out of this town for the summer...at long last. I'm starting to get stir crazy. Here's a tentative itinerary/to-do list/wishlist for the long break ahead:

-Trip to Japan! Ten glorious days, starting in Osaka, and from there it's off to Hiroshima, Kyoto, Nara, Kamakura, Hakone, and Tokyo, in that order. I hope to get in some good photos and pick up a few souvenirs, but above all, it's a feast for the mind, the soul, and the senses. I'll always have the photographs in my heart.

-Internship at an architecture firm. I'll be working mainly with the other interior designers, but I'm looking forward to opportunities to speak with the architects and glean some useful tidbits of advice. At this point, I'm open to a bit of change with my career...this co-op experience could tip the scales.

-Weekend trips. The dates and destinations aren't all definite, but I have to work around my co-op (and my weekend job, which I may be asking off more than a few times). NYC may be in the cards (my second visit), and I'm hoping for Pittsburgh as well...but above all, there's one particular trip that I must take. I'll be on my own, but I'm adamant about making it possible...distance is no longer a limiting factor.

-Reading. Free time is going to be a bit crunched, but as long as I can keep some inspirational literature at my disposal, I'll be able to hang onto my sanity.

-Start thinking about/planning my senior project. Sketches, case studies, whatever it takes, I'll need to get a head start if it's going to be done to my satisfaction.

-Learn how to do some real cooking! Perhaps some baking, too...

-Work on some small crafts (provided that I have the time).

-Save and spend wisely. I'll be getting some good money between my co-op and my weekend job, so I can treat myself (most likely to CDs), but I'll definitely be putting the bulk of my money in savings.

-Make time to work out. I'm not horribly out of shape, but exercise would be a good stress relief to balance out my hectic work schedule.

-Be more adventurous. It's the summer of discovery, and a time of (anticipated) great change. Let go.

Autopilot.

13 days until the end of the term, and even the light at the end of the tunnel seems to be flushing out most of the last-minute stress. Granted, it doesn't cause the work to write itself, but as long as I can buckle down for the next few days and get in some solid work time, I'll be just fine. At best, I'll have some free time to play around with at this point next week. For now, it's all about mechanics. There is rarely any sort of emotion to feel these days, not when I'm in eat-sleep-work mode. Moments of joy are few and fleeting, and anything else is just stress-fueled upset or tears over something that doesn't even make sense to begin with. I'm looking forward to a few restful, carefree days at home before leaving on the trip of a lifetime, which I've been preparing for steadily over the past couple of weeks. I'm admittedly put off by the idea of flying, since I haven't been on a plane in over 10 years (and haven't had to face the post-9/11 security lockdowns). I am also somewhat scared of flying overseas, but that can be chalked up to my own paranoia. I'll be in good company, so that should ease some fears...regardless, I plan on taking many (manymanymany) photos, enjoying myself and the company of the other travellers in my group, and immersing myself in what will prove to be a prime cultural experience. Of course, I'd also like to pick up some nice souvenirs for those not lucky enough to be able to tag along. After I return, a few days to catch up from jet lag, and then it's off to my summer co-op at the architectural firm. Optimally, there will be at least a few weekends for quick excursions, whether with family, friends, or maybe even flying (well, driving) solo. My intuition tells me that it's going to be a life-changing summer for sure.

Until I get to the good stuff, though, it's back to writing papers, doing research, and feeding my love (growing into addiction?) for shoegaze. Cheers.

Gray area.

I'm in the midst of it, once again. It's a perpetual kind of thing, so it's to be expected. Five classes' worth of work, and the pile keeps growing...I think I've been able to keep things tame, at least for the time being, so I can feel that glimmer of hope that always manages to get me through these "crunchy" times. After going home this past weekend and stocking up on CDs/getting a great haircut, I'm just about broke for now...but I've got most of what I need to fuel myself through these last four weeks. I have a great summer to look ahead to...a wonderful internship with an architectural firm, the trip of a lifetime, (hopefully) taking small trips on the weekends, seeing wonderful people...

Above all, I'm looking forward to feeling alive again...which only occurs in fleeting moments these days, as I gaze at the curls and wisps of steam rising from the cup of green tea I keep handy, watching them play in the wind. So many feelings that I wish to connect with again...all in good time, if I play my cards right.

Blink.

In preparation for my trip to Japan in May, I've had several discussions with my professor regarding cultural perceptions. The one thing I now look forward to learning more about is the idea of impermanence that pervades the entire Japanese culture. Verbs usually emphasize travel, movement from A to B to C and so on. Personal space, unlike Western cultures, is derived simply from fleeting moments in time...you must capture them yourself, savor them and everything within them. Instead of closing doors, shutting blinds, and literally caging yourself in, you have to use nothing but your own senses and your own mind. Housing itself, traditionally, is not permanent; sliding doors and screens take the place of solid walls, futons roll up and are stored away during the day, and most furnishings can be shifted around easily. Personal possessions are almost always passed on from one person to another. It seems to be a culture of fleeting moments, but each is bursting with sensory accumulation and introspective insight. An increasingly appealing outlook if you ask me...

Knocked over by sound waves.

Music has the potential to be a powerful, driving force...common knowledge, sure, but every once in a while there'll be a song--a single sound, even-- that reminds you so. Overwhelmed by the mundanity of the daily routine, you sit down and plug away at your work...and then, there it is. The dissonance of a chord. The gentle fuzz of distortion. A clean snare hit. A biting lyric. Whatever it may be, it's a welcome jolt to the senses. It sets the mind off to wander while the body lags sorely behind. A constant reminder of all of life's possibilities. At its best...

...it takes you exactly where you want to be.

Opportunistic architecture.

[Photo courtesy LTL Architects website]

Being a design student, I have come to see the world from a much different angle than that of my childhood...forms and spatial relations are so much more clear to me, and I'm constantly seeking inspiration, not only in design and architecture, but in all aspects and forms of life. Working on final projects last month, I booked plenty of time in the studio, which (fortunately) keeps plenty of literature on hand, most notably back issues of Architectural Record. The copy flopped next to my computer (September 2004, if I recall correctly) was a great read, and though I was tempted to smuggle it home, I left it in its proper place. One of the most stunning case studies was also one of the most understated...the Ini Ani cafe in Manhattan, designed by Lewis.Tsurumaki.Lewis. Their use of corrugated cardboard is brilliant, and surely highly desirable given the current push for "green" design. The varied textures provide warmth and depth without infringing upon the spacious feel. It all comes down to the details, though...the decorative motif consists of impressions of varied coffee cup lids(!), which typically go unnoticed in the daily grind (no pun intended). The LTL Architects firm has also put out a book, Opportunistic Architecture...I'm hoping to be able to pick up a copy soon...

More specs and photos of the Ini Ani Coffeehouse can be found here:

http://www.ltlwork.net/pages/portfolio/projects/iniani.html

Refresh.

I survived the first day of spring term, but I'm already nervous about the workload...there's going to be enough reading to make my eyes bleed (or at least fall out of my head), and I can already sense that I'll have to make sacrifices in order to succeed. But I say bring it on. Two of the five classes that I'm taking are related to Japanese (one for language, one for culture), and in that vein, I feel that now is as good as time as any to pursue total immersion. I'm aiming for all of my hard work to pay off both in the short term and long term. Eat better, sleep more, keep up my workout routine, focus, focus, focus...and always make a little time for something fun, be it leisure reading, origami, photography, goofing off, etc. A fairly reasonable "road map" for the term ahead...

On a random tangent...things I'm loving lately? Chrysanthemum tea. Nong Shim instant udon (not the best for you healthwise, but sooo good). The Raveonettes' "Lust Lust Lust". Anything silver. The rush you get after a really satisfying workout. Muenster cheese. My roommates and our "family" setup. Feeling motivated. Feeling in control. And you, of course.

Pause and play.

Having been at home for the past three days, I have been able to enjoy some real peace and quiet for a change...between my last school "break" (which was spent almost entirely at work) and a stressful winter term, I was really feeling the effects. There's a dull, persistent ache that I've been feeling for the past few months, and while it has subsided some, I'm finally going to the doctor to (hopefully) get it figured out and taken care of. It has been far too long since I last felt great...I've had pretty good and good, but not quite great. I'm already a bit tight on money, having gone shopping crazy my first couple of days back home, but I don't regret a single purchase. I spent a good amount of money, but I spent it well. I finally bought my first CD of the year (Vampire Weekend) as well...going almost two months without shopping for music was driving me batty. There was a small victory for me yesterday...after 3 or 4 years of searching, I finally was able to find chrysanthemum tea in a local Korean grocery. I first had it at a tea and noodle shop downtown and was head over heels...now I have some to call my own. Victory tastes pretty sweet...and somewhat floral...and even a bit spicy.

I have also determined that I want to take a little photographic expedition around town...I should know my own city better than I do, and what better way than to stretch my photography muscle? I'll be able to do more of that once the weather improves, but it doesn't hurt to try. Unfortunately, it's been too many years since I last visited the library, and in light of my recent plunge into all things Louise Brooks, I want to read up as much as I can and enlighten myself (Operation: Chasing Brooksie?). Self-enlightenment is the watchword this year, and appropriately so...2008 is the year that I stop existing and start living.

Inner meet me.

If there's one thing I've really been craving lately, it's a strong human connection. To find even one person that I can converse with about any topic...someone that always has something new to bring to the table...that would be a huge thrill. Substance is a big winner with me. One of my co-workers back home seems to fit that description, but accessibility is an issue. We live two completely different lives, yet when I'm finally home from school on breaks, I look forward to seeing him at work and striking up a good exchange. I like to chit-chat with all of my co-workers, but he's the one I spend the most time talking to, though even that time is limited. It's strange, but I get along better with a man 30 years my senior than with most people my own age (though I get along well with just about every person I meet)...we have so much more to discuss than I do with most of my other friends and colleagues. Part of that I may attribute to the fact that I've never felt my own age...always a few years older. I'm curious as to how that attitude will change as I get older myself, as well as how this idea will work out in the realm of romantic relationships. As this winter term winds down and I start to get weary of the daily grind, it's nice to have one spark of hope to cup in my hands.

Get happy!

After waking up and spending most of the morning in an unexplicably foul mood, I returned to my apartment after classes seeking a mood boost. After a quick lunch and some amusing TV (which is tough to come by these days), I found myself in search of a musical fix. I have quite a few "feel-good" albums in my CD arsenal, and today Flin Flon's "Boo-Boo" was my weapon of choice. I can't recall how exactly I first heard of Flin Flon (most likely through Last.fm), but I was pleasantly surprised to come across this album, a "used" copy (listened to not more than once, if at all, by its previous owner), for $7 at FYE this summer. I was struck by its "playful" demeanor and nonsensical lyrics right off the bat, and given the season, it was a perfect fit. Every time I give it a spin, it brings back those colorful moods that the summertime stirs up. Laughter may be the best medicine, but music is certainly nipping on its heels.



To learn more about Flin Flon:

http://www.teenbeat.net/artists/flinflon.htm

FYE has had a few surprises in store, especially for being generally overpriced and having a hit-or-miss selection...the Flin Flon CD was probably my favorite find, but the best deal I got, hands down, was The Up On In's "Steps For The Light" album. It was a "used" copy for $2.99...but the best part was opening it up to find that it was still sealed. Brand spanking new. The luck of the draw indeed...

Wish list.

I've had this odd little idea rolling around in my mind for a while, and after perusing a recent blog entry (one that encouraged viewer participation and helped to foster some interesting personal insights), I was reminded of it once more. I've only read a couple of issues of Interview magazine, but I'm intriguing by the stories that the featured guests have to tell, even if I don't have a vested interest in their public persona. What if someone were to take that concept and carry it out through "everyday" people? Find a few willing participants in schools, restaurants, shopping malls, etc., sit them down, and let them roll out personal anecdotes, stories of triumph, failure, or just getting out and living life. There's something oddly comforting about the human condition sometimes; perhaps it is our ability to make that connection with other people and cement understanding of our own issues. Glimmering eyes have many tales to tell, even if they belong to the most ordinary-looking John/Jane Doe...fortunately, appearances can be deceiving.

Great in '08.

Just for fun, here are some of the album releases I'm anticipating this year...

The Duke Spirit "Neptune"- I'm not entirely sure when/if this is getting a U.S. release date, but hopefully I'll get a copy of my very own soon...to sample some of the new cuts, head on over to http://www.dukespirit.com/lovetoken/. So far, so good.

Vampire Weekend's self-titled debut- They're generating a solid buzz amongst the numerous mp3/media blogs, but my first exposure to the band was through NPR's All Songs Considered podcast...after sampling a few of their other tracks, I'm keyed into their sound as well...should be a good upbeat soundtrack to carry me into the springtime.

New Portishead this year? I hope so...the band performed 5 new songs at the All Tomorrow's Parties festival this past December, and the magic seems to still be there, even with a 10-year lapse from their last album. Fingers crossed for this one.

Though I am barely familiar with Stephen Malkmus' work, either solo or with Pavement, I'm looking forward to the release of "Real Emotional Trash". How come? Two words: Janet Weiss. Certainly this album will also be the starting point for my exploration of all things Malkmus.

Rumors are swirling in regards to a possible My Bloody Valentine album...not as confident about this release, but I'll certainly look into it if/when the new material comes to light. Other rumored releases include Autolux and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, the former of which I more eagerly await. Nevertheless, I am curious as to where the YYYs will take their new material...

Glancing at this year's album forecast, I can pick out a few more potential gems...

Dead Meadow "Old Growth"

Boris "Smile"

Apollo Sunshine "Mysteries Of The Old Soul"

Flight of the Conchords

Doves

If this year is anything like last year, I will be discovering plenty of new bands along the way, so no matter what comes of these releases, my ears will be happy. Guaranteed.

Alive.

First post of the new year...between work and school I've been kept on my toes, and despite some doubts and stresses, I'm feeling very satisfied with where everything is/has been going. 2007 was a highly eventful and successful year, but I have reason to believe that 2008 is destined to match, if not beat, that level of success. My class schedules for the foreseeable future are going to be jam-packed and invariably stressful, but I have the resolve to take them on and find fulfillment in my newfound knowledge. I also would love become more involved in the community, both here and back home. Earlier today, I, along with a few others from my Japanese class, volunteered at a "Multicultural Day" event at the local children's museum. The city where I currently reside and go to school has an unfortunate, notable lack of "culture" and ethnic diversity; to see such an outpouring of support and a grandiose display of cultural traditions stirred up true joy from within. I realized then that I was taking part in a cultural "leap", so to speak; it's certainly a step in the right direction for this city. Glancing around at all of the bright, shimmering clothes, decorations, and faces, it made me think about the power of culture...no matter how bleak a city may seem, there will inevitably be people that add color and life to compensate. Now that's something I hope to see much more of in the months to come...