We're--I'm--moving!

It's time for something fresh. :)

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Softly drifting.

I've barely had time to update this blog...but tonight I can't help myself. October, though usually my favorite month of the year, has had its share of ups and downs (mostly emotional). On this lazy Saturday night I find myself in an upbeat sort of repose. I've been moderately productive with my schoolwork (including making some revisions to my resume), and I've enjoyed the soothing sounds of Tracy Shedd, Laura Veirs, and the excellent "Birds of a Feather" album by Tape & Minamo (strongly recommended to those of you who crave ambient music of a warm and fuzzy variety). It's been a particularly turbulent week, as I struggle to get ahead on my work while thinking to the future. I'm almost certain that I'll be moving away from home upon my graduation in May, heading off to a new city, a new job, and a new set of challenges. I'm hoping that graduate school is in the works at some point in the next few years...my ambition only continues to grow, and my hunger for knowledge keeps pointing me in the direction of a master's degree in architecture. Not without grand intimidation, of course. I loved being in an architectural firm for my summer internship...the dynamic was incredibly comforting, and the pace at which everything and everyone moved was just right. I'd love to add architectural background to my resume, but I don't necessarily need the AIA licensing, and I don't know at this point if I would practice architecture or keep on going with interior design. There are questions abound spinning in my mind, but once I talk to my professors and advisors, I can clear them up a bit and get some peace of mind.

Time for another mental checklist (really only for myself, but I love to make to-do lists...follow along if you wish):

1. Finish reading "The Will to Power"...so that I can start reading "The Pillow Book"...and some of the other books that are laying around my house.

2. Clean out my closet even more...there are still quite a few items that I could live without.

3. Get back into sketching, maybe even with markers and colored pencils. How I pine for those art class sessions...

4. Get to the library, pick a random book off of the shelf, and absorb its contents. The one upside to being at a small (to the point of mental confinement) school is the opportunity to find ways to escape the boredom and satisfy my curiosity.

5. Learn some of my mom's recipes...one of these days.

6. Clean out my desk drawers, as well as the space under my bed. Uncharacteristically catastrophic.

7. Someday, perhaps, start to blog about topics of interest...album reviews, videos, books, abstract concepts, kittens. If I can make the time, that is.

That's enough hot air from me for now. Cheers. :)

Tick.

This Sunday burned away quite slowly, unlike most in recent memory. After a refreshing walk in the rain, I decided to pull up hollAnd's "I Steal And Do Drugs", a CD/DVD set featuring 5 original music videos set to minimalist electro-pop. The video footage, often featuring slowed-down, repeated images, may not be enough to satisfy a music "lover" in search of the instantaneous! glossied-up, Pitchfork-hyped "indie" act, and may as a result come off as pretentious and overstated. However, there is something to be said for the way the images drag across the screen...it stirs up an interest in the minute, calling to mind the "butterfly effect" and the power contained within. If you keep rushing through the day-to-day, letting weeks, months, years slip by unnoticed, you could be missing out on wonderful things. Random acts of kindness committed by fellow residents. The flight of a solitary bird twirling its way through a concrete-and-steel forest. Telling glances from passers-by. Even the way the clouds float and curl above you. If you can afford to take things even a little bit more slowly, go for it. Patience, regrettably, is a lost virtue...if you can restore it within yourself, you will reward yourself and all around you a hundredfold.

On that note, take the time--only a few minutes, even--to be thankful for all that is going right in your life and in the lives of the ones you love. Moreso, be thankful for what has gone wrong, for without it, you wouldn't have been able to scale new heights. There have been many opportunities that have truly changed my life this summer, and many people that I have met for whom I have become all the better a daughter, sister, friend, worker, lover, student, and citizen. I have and will continue to cherish every one...

Air 1120.

It has been a ridiculously loaded summer thus far, starting with the ten glorious days I spent in Japan, and continuing on through my internship at a local architecture firm...which was interrupted by a 4-day stint in jury duty this past week. I had figured that I would be able to get out of it, but New York has instituted a revised process, wherein there are virtually no exemptions from service. I was assigned to a trial rather quickly, and seeing the number of potential jurors, I felt fairly confident that I would miss selection and be able to complete my service on that day. No luck there. It wasn't all too gruesome a case, but it definitely made me reflect on my own issues and my perspective on the world around me...it's safe to say that I broke down a few barriers that had existed solely because of my relatively sheltered life and upbringing. From now on, I will continue to take care in airing my grievances and complaints...as I see it, there's always someone who has it worse than I do, and though regrettable, it's the truth.

After four long days, the trial had finally come to a close, and I was feeling a bit burnt out after all of the deliberation and stress. Friday morning, though, I woke up feeling anxious in the best way possible. I was going to Buffalo to pick up a special guest...another one of my dreams fulfilled. It was a weekend all too brief, but I treasured every moment. I was throttled by unfamiliar feelings, but at the same time, it all felt right at home...completely comfortable. Now it rests on my shoulders...at the soonest opportunity, I'll return the favor by visiting him, getting to see a city I've been wanting to explore at greater length for some time now, but more importantly, to enjoy the company of my dreams.

Free.

I can't believe I did it...I actually was in Japan for a week and a half. There were times where it honestly felt like a dream...there was a surreal, lucid quality to the way the fog wrapped around the lush green mountains and rose from the sea. It truly was a feast for the senses, and the experience was a cleansing one, providing me with the clarity I particularly need at this point in my life. There's so much that I already miss: the rush of men clad in business suits through the streets and train stations (they are the modern equivalent of samurai, in many ways), the twinkling music that filled the train cars, the excellent food, the glow of the city lights in the nighttime, the clear, cool streams, the clean smell of the rainfall, being surrounded by curious schoolchildren, getting to use my broken Japanese with the natives, the incredible street fashion, the way time seemed to stand still...I could go on. So many stories to tell and photos to share, but the memories will ring in my mind and my heart forever. This is only the beginning...I fully intend to return someday, hopefully with someone that can enjoy the experience with me.

Punchlist.

5 days until I can book it out of this town for the summer...at long last. I'm starting to get stir crazy. Here's a tentative itinerary/to-do list/wishlist for the long break ahead:

-Trip to Japan! Ten glorious days, starting in Osaka, and from there it's off to Hiroshima, Kyoto, Nara, Kamakura, Hakone, and Tokyo, in that order. I hope to get in some good photos and pick up a few souvenirs, but above all, it's a feast for the mind, the soul, and the senses. I'll always have the photographs in my heart.

-Internship at an architecture firm. I'll be working mainly with the other interior designers, but I'm looking forward to opportunities to speak with the architects and glean some useful tidbits of advice. At this point, I'm open to a bit of change with my career...this co-op experience could tip the scales.

-Weekend trips. The dates and destinations aren't all definite, but I have to work around my co-op (and my weekend job, which I may be asking off more than a few times). NYC may be in the cards (my second visit), and I'm hoping for Pittsburgh as well...but above all, there's one particular trip that I must take. I'll be on my own, but I'm adamant about making it possible...distance is no longer a limiting factor.

-Reading. Free time is going to be a bit crunched, but as long as I can keep some inspirational literature at my disposal, I'll be able to hang onto my sanity.

-Start thinking about/planning my senior project. Sketches, case studies, whatever it takes, I'll need to get a head start if it's going to be done to my satisfaction.

-Learn how to do some real cooking! Perhaps some baking, too...

-Work on some small crafts (provided that I have the time).

-Save and spend wisely. I'll be getting some good money between my co-op and my weekend job, so I can treat myself (most likely to CDs), but I'll definitely be putting the bulk of my money in savings.

-Make time to work out. I'm not horribly out of shape, but exercise would be a good stress relief to balance out my hectic work schedule.

-Be more adventurous. It's the summer of discovery, and a time of (anticipated) great change. Let go.

Autopilot.

13 days until the end of the term, and even the light at the end of the tunnel seems to be flushing out most of the last-minute stress. Granted, it doesn't cause the work to write itself, but as long as I can buckle down for the next few days and get in some solid work time, I'll be just fine. At best, I'll have some free time to play around with at this point next week. For now, it's all about mechanics. There is rarely any sort of emotion to feel these days, not when I'm in eat-sleep-work mode. Moments of joy are few and fleeting, and anything else is just stress-fueled upset or tears over something that doesn't even make sense to begin with. I'm looking forward to a few restful, carefree days at home before leaving on the trip of a lifetime, which I've been preparing for steadily over the past couple of weeks. I'm admittedly put off by the idea of flying, since I haven't been on a plane in over 10 years (and haven't had to face the post-9/11 security lockdowns). I am also somewhat scared of flying overseas, but that can be chalked up to my own paranoia. I'll be in good company, so that should ease some fears...regardless, I plan on taking many (manymanymany) photos, enjoying myself and the company of the other travellers in my group, and immersing myself in what will prove to be a prime cultural experience. Of course, I'd also like to pick up some nice souvenirs for those not lucky enough to be able to tag along. After I return, a few days to catch up from jet lag, and then it's off to my summer co-op at the architectural firm. Optimally, there will be at least a few weekends for quick excursions, whether with family, friends, or maybe even flying (well, driving) solo. My intuition tells me that it's going to be a life-changing summer for sure.

Until I get to the good stuff, though, it's back to writing papers, doing research, and feeding my love (growing into addiction?) for shoegaze. Cheers.